Why You're Obsessed with the Wrong Person (and How to Finally Break Free)
I’m Stacie Mendez, a dedicated Licensed Mental Health Counselor (LMHC) with a passion for guiding high-achieving couples through the complexities of modern relationships.
Ever found yourself endlessly fixated on someone who offers you almost nothing in return? As a couples therapist specializing in deep, transformational healing, I see it all the time. You're smart, successful, and discerning—yet somehow, you're trapped obsessing over someone who’s emotionally unavailable or outright indifferent.
Why Does Unavailability Feel So Attractive?
This isn't about them being uniquely special. The painful truth is: it's about you and the psychological trap known as limerence. Limerence is an intense emotional state characterized by obsessive thoughts and fantasies about a person who remains just out of reach. It’s less about love and more about longing. Why? Because your brain is mistaking anxiety for attraction.
Your Childhood Patterns Are Calling the Shots
Our early relationships teach us how love "should" feel. If emotional neglect, inconsistent attention, or unpredictability marked your childhood, your nervous system got trained to mistake anxiety for excitement. Simply put, your subconscious equates uncertainty with passion. The more emotionally unavailable a person is, the more compelling they become.
Fantasy Feels Safer Than Intimacy
Here's the kicker: obsessing from afar actually feels safer than real intimacy. Fantasy allows us to control outcomes, avoid vulnerability, and sidestep real rejection. Deep down, it's a protective mechanism—though an exhausting one—that keeps genuine connection at bay.
Breaking the Cycle: Real Solutions for Transformational Healing
Luxury therapy isn't about sugar-coating; it's about transformative honesty and actionable healing strategies. Here’s how I help my clients disrupt the obsession:
Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy: Identify and heal the wounded parts of you that cling to unavailable partners. By understanding your internal narrative, we rewrite your emotional scripts. Click to learn more.
Body-Based Techniques: Obsession keeps you stuck in your head. Through somatic therapies and mindfulness, we reconnect you to your body, grounding you in reality and present relationships.
The Question That Breaks the Spell: Ask yourself, "What am I afraid will happen if I let this person go?" This introspective question shines a light on the fears fueling your obsession.
Mental Space with Space Florida Virtual Online Therapist
Stepping Out of Fantasy, Into Empowerment
Imagine a relationship where love isn’t chased—it's mutually given, received, and grown together. You deserve emotional safety, intimacy, and partnership without obsessive anxiety. Luxury couples therapy is a bold, powerful step toward reclaiming your power and rewriting your love story.
Ready to stop obsessing and start thriving? Let's talk.
